


after eternity

by Ocearna



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Depression, Gen, I started this while having an existential crisis, Reborn is not in a good place mentally, Suicidal Thoughts, immortal Reborn, so trigger warnings for:
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:20:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26772076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ocearna/pseuds/Ocearna
Summary: Reborn is a hitman, an Arcobaleno, and a wickedly charming lady’s man.The man behind the face? Is older than he looks. Far, far older.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> idek. wanted to write, brain was being stupid, so have immortal!reborn?
> 
> edit: have added tags to warn for the themes in this, around depression and not trusting your own mind and (as of chapter 2) suicidal thoughts/ideas. this might get a happy ending eventually, but this isn't a happy Reborn. he's ancient and he's tired and he's not in a good place.

Reborn can’t remember his original name, if he even had one. Truthfully he has forgotten more of his names than he remembers, though he does get a kick out of reading history books and occasionally recognising one of his old personas. Its especially amusing to see how the stories have twisted over the years, compared to his memories of whatever happened. If he still remembers the events, that is.

That’s the problem with being ancient after all. The human brain can only hold so much - and Reborn is, despite everything else, still a human at his core. He remembers bits and pieces of his history, but over time things fade and shift and twist. It’s why he doesn’t like trying to remember - because there are few things scarier than knowing you can’t trust your own mind to tell you the truth. 

After all, Reborn values his mind. He is a genius - though whether that’s because of innate ability or too many years of experience and learning he isn’t sure. Either way, usually he can recall facts and run calculations and string together theories as fast as some of the greatest minds in human history. But memories - actual memories of people and events and experiences - tend to slip through his fingers like sand after a couple of decades, leaving only vague impressions unless something happens to jog his memory well enough. 

That doesn’t happen often. 

So, instead, Reborn tries to get through life without making too many important memories. He holds people at arms’ length because then there isn’t as much to forget. He refuses to get attached, so he won’t add to the gaping hole in his heart that is all the loved ones he has forgotten. 

And he creates ridiculous situations in the hope they will stick around in his memory for longer.

Plus, amusement is hard to find after living as long as he has; after experiencing as much as he has. Most things are familiar, even if he can’t quite remember why. People, places, food - they’re all things he’s experienced before. Very little surprises him anymore, so instead he finds amusement in surprising (and terrifying) other people and watching their reactions. 

Because if there’s one thing he never tires of, it’s watching other people light up with emotion - with  _ life _ \- in the way he can’t seem to. 

Then he meets Tsunayoshi.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I blame Tesai-Nari and Sky :P leaving as complete for now but I do have vague ideas for a third part so we'll see

Tsunayoshi Sawada is unlike anyone else Reborn can remember. He’s weak and shy and pathetic - but when the chips are down and his friends are in danger, he continues to surpass his own limitations time and time again. He’s unpredictable, even to Reborn.

Reborn loves it. And that’s the problem.

See, Reborn has survived for so long because his Sun Flames are stupidly strong. So strong that he hasn’t visibly aged a day since he Activated, no matter what injuries or illnesses he’s gotten. In fact, he’s pretty sure they’ve gotten stronger over time as he started caring less about his own life and started getting more injuries. 

In all these centuries, Reborn has never found a Sky strong enough to contain his Sun. Or if he has - considering he can’t remember all the Skies he’s met - they weren’t anyone he was willing to bow to. He knows that because unlike in all the stories of Guardians who lost their Skies, there are no broken bonds clinging to his Flames. But Tsuna… Tsuna has the potential, if he keeps going the way he’s going, to become a ridiculously powerful Sky. Perhaps even one strong enough to not get burned by Reborn…

Of course, as these things always go, it’s spectacularly bad timing. 

Reborn has avoided becoming an Arcobaleno for so long by always timing his identity changes (and the brief period of hiding that goes with them) with the Arcobaleno switch-over. He  _ can _ use up his Sun Flames briefly after all - with  _ lots _ of fighting and healing people and generally using them too much for a couple of weeks - after which he registers as a more normal Sun to the Man in the Checkered Hat. Or, at least, it seems to work considering he never saw more than a glimpse of the Man until recently. 

(He ignores the thought that maybe the Man left him alone for other reasons, like pity or sympathy.)

(It’s actually empathy, but Reborn will never guess that and Kawahira will never mention it.)

A few decades ago, after walking away from yet another firefight that he shouldn’t have survived, Reborn had decided that something drastic was in order. So, instead of hiding when the Man started appearing again, “Renato Sinclair” had continued on with his life. And sure enough, he had eventually gotten an invite for missions with an “elite group”. 

Reborn had hoped that the Arcobaleno Curse might finally be too much for his Flames and that it would be the thing to end his immortality. 

He was wrong. Or at least, he seemed to be wrong, since his Flames were definitely  _ less _ but they weren’t slowly being drained like what was happening to the others. In fact, they were possibly getting stronger by adjusting to the constant drain, which was the  _ opposite _ of what Reborn had wanted.

So now, here he was, with a Curse on him that would likely either kill him or make his Flames even more ridiculously powerful, not to mention a child’s body and all the limitations thereof… And he had finally found a Sky. His Sky. The one person who might stand a chance of encompassing his Sun without burning (at least in a few years with a few more life-threatening situations) and who he might actually be willing to bow for. The one person who might make his continued existence less of a neverending nightmare of boredom and repetition and predictability. The one person who might help him keep the remaining threads of his sanity…

Reborn had taken a couple of days off tutoring Tsuna when he had realised. Had headed up into the mountains to shoot at things until his temper cooled down. Because there was no way he could subject Tsuna (his Sky) to the uncertainty and potential pain that would be having Reborn as a Guardian. Absolutely no way. Even Reborn wasn’t that sadistic. 

(Even Reborn still saw Skies as sacred.)

So he carefully kept his Flames to himself, refusing to heal Tsuna to avoid their Flames touching. He put more effort into training Ryohei instead, calling in more favours with Colonnello and others, because at least if Tsuna couldn’t have the best hitman in the world Reborn would at least give him the best damn boxer. The best damn  _ Guardians _ , even. 

Tsuna would be  _ protected _ , even if Reborn couldn’t directly do it himself.

Even if it hurt like nothing else he could remember to stand back and let his Sky harmonise with another Sun.

* * *

_ “Destroying the misfortune that attacks the Famiglia with their own body, they become the Sun that brightly shines upon an area.” _


End file.
